I Dated the D.A.

Dating a District Attorney is no guarantee the person is a righteous man who has no secrets that are illicit.

I know.  I dated one when I was in my early 30s and was working as a newspaper reporter in a neighboring community to the one in which he served.

As I did not cover the court house beat, it did not seem like I was crossing any ethical lines.  That he quickly moved in when a friend of his and I stopped dating should have been a warning sign.

It was not a long dating experience.  It did have an embarrassing side to it when I got called for jury duty and had to go through voir dire.  After I was asked if I knew anyone seated at either the prosecution or defense tables, I had to concede that I knew the District Attorney prosecuting the case.  Then it became “How did I know him.”  I conceded we dated.  Then it was “What type of dating relationship did you have?” And I think I answered something along the lines of “The kind where you go out to dinner.”  Then it was a question more provocative, in terms of how would I describe the “type” of relationship we had had.  My answer was “The kind adults do.” Meanwhile, the fellow in question sat smirking at the prosecution table, enjoying the show.

Of course, I was excused.  I should have been excused based on the fact that I was a reporter who covered the police beat.  (Meaning I went to look at the logs of the local city police and/or called their spokesperson for an update on the latest crimes.  I did not follow cases to trial.)

There was no reason to go into all that other detailed questioning designed to get me to admit whether or not it had been a sexual relationship.  It was sport for the judge and my former date.

Later, this same “date” would be arrested in his home for possessing child pornographic material.  That my son once rode alone in his sports car with him still turns my stomach.  Fortunately, my son was always outspoken when he felt he was ill-treated.  Still, when you are a mother, your mind goes there.

But what woman wouldn’t presume that a member of the court was anything other than upstanding if she had no other information at the time to tell her otherwise?

So my question to the voters of Alabama is:  if I, as a 30-something woman and a local news reporter, did not know there was anything wrong with this man’s sexual predilections – how do you hold a 14-year-old girl to account?  Or one who is 16?  I don’t care if it is the “age of consent.”  It is an age still far too young for a 32-year-old man to be dating.  Enough of this “well, if a man wants a virgin” for a wife nonsense.  The truth is, most men just want to have sex.  And having sex with a virgin is a plus to them.

This is not to castigate all men.  Most keep their impulses to themselves.  But I can tell you with great certainty that the ones who don’t – they don’t stop doing what they do.  It is a sickness.  Be it Roy Moore trolling the mall for teenage girls as prey, or Al Franken “accidentally” touching a woman’s breast but failing to move his hand and apologize.  As much as I fell in love with Franken as a politician when I read his book, doing that is no “accident.” It is pure “how far can I go and get away with it.”

Just ask Donald Trump how far he goes.  Actually, you don’t have to do that.  He has already told us.  On tape.  In front of 8 witnesses.

But hey, now he thinks the tape is fake.  Sure, Mr. President.  Just like there is “no collusion, no collusion.”

When people show you who they really are – believe them.  I have learned to do so.

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