“We must fear God out of love, not love him out of fear.” -St. Francis de Sales
As it has been explained to me, to “fear the Lord” is not to dread him, but rather to be in such awe of him that to imagine disappointing him in any way is just unthinkable because you would feel such dread about not meeting his excellent standards.
Exactly like letting Daddy down by not being a good little girl, in some sense.
As I wrote in my last blog, I was raised not to disappoint. Because if I did, I was immediately put on notice that I had, and my sense of guilt was overwhelming.
That is not a dynamic I think I want to repeat in my relationship with God.
I would prefer it be fear-less; that in no way could I possibly disappoint God to the point that he would judge me and find me wanting.
I want a gentle, loving Father who knows my weakness and shores me up with his power so I do not fail him or myself. One that loves me warts and all. One who will overlook the warts and tell me in his eyes, I am beautiful as I am.
Rather than fear him, I would prefer to adore him. To be able to crawl into his lap, put my head on his chest, have him hold me and assure me all will be okay.
Even if the bottoms on my pants are dirty from sliding down hills and my hair has escaped its braids.
I don’t want to have to be perfect but to be perfected by his love for me and mine for him.
“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” (1 John: 4-18)